How Social Media Perpetuates Fear of Missing Out (fomo)

Scrolling through Instagram stories or TikTok videos late at night often reveals snapshots of others’ lives that appear more exciting, more fulfilled, and more connected than our own. This phenomenon, while seemingly harmless, feeds into a deeper psychological experience known as FOMO – the fear of missing out. More than just a passing feeling, FOMO is now recognised as a modern stressor with real emotional and cognitive impacts, especially in a highly connected society like ours.

Understanding FOMO and its psychological roots

FOMO refers to the uneasy and sometimes all-consuming feeling that others might be having rewarding experiences that we are absent from. It is strongly tied to the need for belonging, self-comparison, and self-worth. Social media platforms amplify these tendencies by offering a constant stream of curated updates, often portraying idealised versions of people’s lives (Przybylski et al., 2013). The result is a relentless exposure to others' highlights, celebrations, outings, career wins, leading to internalised beliefs that one is not living fully or missing out on critical life milestones. This cycle often fuels dangerous doomscrolling, where users compulsively consume content in an attempt to stay connected but end up feeling increasingly inadequate and anxious.

This is not merely a matter of jealousy or envy; FOMO can drive anxiety, low self-esteem, and even depressive symptoms. Individuals may feel pressured to participate in social events, overcommit their time, or experience guilt when choosing rest or solitude over activity. These behaviours are not uncommon among young adults and working professionals, but children and adolescents are increasingly affected too.

Social media’s role in reinforcing FOMO

Social media algorithms are designed to keep users engaged, and FOMO plays right into this loop. Apps like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok thrive on likes, shares, and stories — elements that often highlight moments of social success and personal achievement. The ‘Stories’ feature in particular has been shown to intensify FOMO due to its temporary nature. Users may feel compelled to check content urgently so as not to “miss out”, further reinforcing habitual and anxious scrolling (Beyens et al., 2016).

Moreover, social media blurs the line between public and private life, inviting constant comparison of everyday experiences. For example, a simple post about a lunch outing or family gathering may trigger feelings of inadequacy in others who perceive their own lives as mundane or less fulfilling. Over time, this can lead to emotional exhaustion, social withdrawal, or even symptoms of depression.

Professionals have observed that for some clients, especially those already prone to low mood or anxiety, FOMO acts as an emotional amplifier. In these cases, working with a therapist may help individuals unpack these feelings and develop healthier coping strategies.

The impact on children and adolescents

The effects of FOMO are particularly pronounced among young users who are still developing their identities and emotional resilience. Children and teens often measure their self-worth through digital validation — likes, comments, and inclusion in peer-generated content. Not being tagged in a group photo or missing out on a viral trend can feel socially devastating.

Over time, this can affect their sense of identity and contribute to social anxiety. It is important to monitor and support children in managing these pressures. Parents may consider seeking guidance from a child therapist who understands the nuances of online peer dynamics and can provide early intervention.

Managing FOMO in a digitally saturated world

Managing FOMO involves building awareness, intentionality, and boundaries. One of the first steps is acknowledging the curated nature of social media. Most users only share highlights, not the full scope of their lives, which can distort our perception of reality. Encouraging digital literacy and helping individuals recognise what is authentic versus performative is critical to fostering a healthier relationship with social media across all age groups.

Limiting screen time and taking regular social media breaks can also be effective. Some people benefit from scheduled “offline” periods or “digital detox” weekends, giving themselves permission to disconnect and reconnect with their real-life environment. Others find it helpful to unfollow or mute accounts that provoke comparison or distress. In therapeutic settings, practitioners may use cognitive-behavioural strategies to help clients challenge the underlying beliefs driving FOMO. For example, exploring the origins of the fear and reframing it within a more compassionate and rational context can significantly reduce its emotional intensity. Mindfulness techniques are also useful in grounding clients in the present moment, rather than in the imagined experiences of others.

Why mental health support matters

If left unaddressed, FOMO can gradually erode self-worth and lead to more significant mental health challenges. While social media is not inherently harmful, its influence on emotions and behaviour should not be underestimated. For those experiencing frequent anxiety, sadness, or life dissatisfaction linked to social media, working with a qualified professional can be beneficial.

Therapy provides a confidential space to explore these feelings and build emotional resilience. Whether through individual sessions or group work, therapy helps individuals regain control over their social narratives and reconnect with their personal values, rather than chasing external validation.

References

Beyens, I., Frison, E., & Eggermont, S. (2016). "I don’t want to miss a thing": Adolescents’ fear of missing out and its relationship to adolescents’ social needs, Facebook use, and Facebook related stress. Computers in Human Behavior, 64, 1–8. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2016.05.083

Przybylski, A. K., Murayama, K., DeHaan, C. R., & Gladwell, V. (2013). Motivational, emotional, and behavioral correlates of fear of missing out. Computers in Human Behavior, 29(4), 1841–1848. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2013.02.014