The Importance Of Having A Healthy Relationship With Yourself

The Importance Of Having A Healthy Relationship With Yourself

The relationship that you have with yourself is arguably the most important relationship you have in life. Self-relationship is the foundation for every relationship you build. Of course, having a healthy relationship with yourself is not easy; it is a lifelong journey of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-care, among others.

Proper development depends on one's relationship with oneself. Healthy self-love is the key. The key figures in our lives - parents, siblings, family, peers, and other adults - allow us to learn a lot about how to relate to ourselves. The relationship one has with oneself is shaped early in life by the relationships we have with others. As we grow up, our experiences with others and how they deal with themselves play an influential role in determining how we see ourselves as adults (Brenner, 2017). Four ways to build a healthy relationship with yourself

If you feel like you have yet to build a strong relationship with yourself or want to improve it, here are four strategies that could help you better get along with yourself.

1. Forgive yourself

Find ways to heal from your past mistakes and forgive yourself. It can be easy to blame yourself for any shortcomings in the past, but forgiving ourselves after processing our past mistakes is crucial, rather than ruminating and being stuck in a cycle of self-blaming. You can incorporate self-love into your daily life by not dwelling on your mistakes and regrets.

According to studies, greater forgiveness is associated with less stress and reduced mental health symptoms (Toussaint et al., 2016).

2. Acknowledge it when comparison becomes destructive

Social comparisons can cause stress. Even though competition and comparison can motivate us, it is often detrimental to our well-being as it may induce stress, anxiety, guilt, and shame.

It is common for us to judge ourselves harshly and not feel good enough. Social media has made it easier for us to compare our lives to others. Setting a limit on your use of social media could prevent you from comparing yourself to others.

3. Identify your strengths and opportunities

Self-confidence can be built by valuing your strengths. When you acknowledge your capacity to grow from your shortcomings, it may be easier for you to be gentle and forgiving towards yourself (Heston-Davis, 2022).

Identify your strengths by writing a list. If you find this challenging, ask your supportive family and friends what they see in you. Mentors, life coaches, and mental health professionals can help you identify your unique characteristics. Taking actionable plans to achieve the mental health resolutions that you set for yourself could also help in reducing self-criticism.

4. Seek help from mental health professionals

It may be necessary to seek the help of a mental health professional if you find it challenging to develop a loving relationship with yourself or if you have experienced adverse circumstances that need healing.

Counselling services in Singapore may also help you develop coping skills and identify ways to develop compassion, gratitude, and self-awareness for yourself.


Keeping a healthy relationship with yourself is vital as it impacts various areas of your life, including your relationships with others and how you value your self-worth. If you are struggling with maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself, there are many steps you could take to work on it and improve it.

Seeking help from services that offer individual counselling for adults in Singapore could help you identify your values and correct negative thought patterns to begin loving yourself.


Brenner, G. (2017). 12 Keys To A Great Self-Relationship, Starting Now

Toussaint LL, Shields GS, Slavich GM. (2016). Forgiveness, Stress, and Health: a 5-Week Dynamic Parallel Process Study. Annals of Behavioral Medicine. 50(5):727-735. doi:10.1007/s12160-016-9796-6

Heston-Davis, R. (2022) How to Have a Healthy Relationship with Yourself and Why It Matters