Recognising the Unseen Struggles of Fatherhood on Father's Day

Father’s Day is often a time of celebration, filled with tokens of appreciation and warm gestures. Yet, beneath the surface of cheerful brunches and “World’s Best Dad” mugs lies a quieter, often overlooked reality—many fathers carry emotional and psychological burdens they seldom speak about. The social expectations placed on men to be strong, stoic, and self-reliant often leave little room for vulnerability, especially in the context of parenting.

The quiet pressure of being the 'ideal father'

Fathers today are expected to be more than just providers, they are also nurturers, role models, and active co-parents. While these expectations mark a positive shift towards more involved fatherhood, they can also be overwhelming. Many men struggle to reconcile traditional notions of masculinity with the emotional demands of modern parenting. They may feel pressured to maintain a strong exterior while internally battling stress, anxiety, or self-doubt. Unfortunately, these emotional struggles often go unacknowledged, both by others and by the fathers themselves.

Despite growing awareness around mental health, men remain significantly less likely than women to seek psychological help, largely due to stigma and societal beliefs around masculinity (Wong et al., 2017). As a result, many fathers may suffer in silence, their needs going unnoticed even on a day meant to honour them.

Emotional isolation and the lack of support systems

The emotional isolation that many fathers experience is compounded by the lack of support networks tailored to their needs. While mothers often benefit from peer groups, online forums, and accessible parenting resources, fathers may find fewer avenues to express their feelings or share their parenting challenges. This lack of support can make it more difficult for them to recognise when they are struggling and to reach out for help.

At the same time, some fathers hesitate to take on parental responsibilities more openly, fearing judgment or being perceived as less committed to their careers. This tension between work and family roles can exacerbate emotional strain and contribute to burnout over time.

Breaking the silence through therapy

Acknowledging the unseen struggles of fatherhood is the first step towards healing and support. Adult counselling in Singapore offers fathers a safe and confidential space to explore their emotional experiences, manage stress, and develop healthier coping strategies. Therapy can also help unpack deep-seated beliefs around masculinity, fatherhood, and self-worth—issues that may otherwise fester under societal expectations.

For fathers navigating complex family dynamics or strained relationships with their children, working with a child’s therapist alongside family-based interventions can be especially beneficial. These collaborative approaches foster understanding, improve communication, and strengthen emotional bonds within the family unit.

It is important to recognise that seeking support is not a sign of weakness, but a courageous act of self-awareness and responsibility. By prioritising their mental health, fathers not only enhance their own well-being but also become more emotionally available and resilient as parents.

Acknowledging diverse experiences of fatherhood

Fatherhood is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Single fathers, divorced fathers, stepfathers, and stay-at-home dads each face unique psychological challenges. For example, single fathers may carry increased financial and emotional burdens, while stepfathers may struggle with acceptance and role ambiguity. Recognising these differences is essential to providing inclusive, empathetic psychological support tailored to each father’s circumstances.

There is also a growing awareness of paternal postnatal depression, a condition that affects up to 10% of new fathers globally (Cameron et al., 2016). Despite its prevalence, it remains rarely discussed and even more rarely diagnosed, as many fathers are unaware that symptoms such as irritability, sleep disturbances, or withdrawal, may be signs of depression.

Mental health professionals play a critical role in destigmatising these experiences by offering psychoeducation and normalising the emotional challenges of fatherhood. This support is particularly crucial during early parenthood, when the stress of adjustment can strain even the most resilient individuals.

Reframing Father’s Day

Instead of focusing solely on external celebrations, Father’s Day can also serve as a moment of introspection. It offers an opportunity to check in on the emotional well-being of fathers and to encourage open conversations about their mental health. This day can be reframed not just as a celebration of what fathers do, but as a recognition of who they are—human beings with complex inner lives, worthy of support and understanding.

Simple gestures such as asking a father how he is really doing, offering help without judgment, or validating his emotions can go a long way. When communities, workplaces, and families come together to foster an environment where fathers feel safe to express vulnerability, everyone benefits, especially the children who look up to them.

Conclusion

Fathers deserve more than a day of celebration, they deserve understanding, support, and psychological care. By acknowledging the unseen struggles of fatherhood and promoting access to mental health resources, we can help build a society where fathers no longer need to suffer in silence. Let this Father’s Day be a reminder that strength includes the courage to seek help, and that vulnerability is not a flaw, but a profound expression of love.

References

Cameron, E. E., Sedov, I. D., & Tomfohr-Madsen, L. M. (2016). Prevalence of paternal depression in pregnancy and the postpartum: An updated meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders, 206(1), 189–203. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2016.07.044

Wong, Y. J., Ho, M. R., Wang, S., & Miller, I. S. K. (2017). Meta-analyses of the relationship between conformity to masculine norms and mental health-related outcomes. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 64(1), 80–93. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000176