Dealing With Grief On Mother's Day: Coping And Self-care
Published on 16th May, 2023
Mother's Day is a holiday that celebrates the love and bond between mothers and their children. However, for those who have lost their mothers or have a strained relationship with them, Mother's Day can be a challenging day to get through. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is not easy, and especially on meaningful days like Mother's Day, feelings like sadness, longing, loneliness, and anger can intensify.
If you are struggling to cope with grief on Mother's Day, it is important to acknowledge the pain that you are experiencing. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or overwhelmed. In fact, allowing yourself to feel your emotions can be a healthy part of the healing process.
Here are some coping strategies that may help you get through Mother’s Day:
1. Plan ahead
By anticipating that Mother's Day may be emotionally challenging, you can prepare for how you would like to spend your time. For example, you may want to avoid certain activities or places that may trigger memories or emotions.
It is important to be compassionate towards yourself and surround yourself with supportive people who can empathise with your emotions. While it may be tempting to make plans to distract yourself from your grief on Mother's Day, know that it is alright to experience many different emotions and work through each of them. It is okay if activities that are typically fun do not elicit the same joy in you.
2. Be kind to yourself
When experiencing grief, it can be easy to become self-critical and focus on all the ways you may feel like you're not coping well (Rehman, n.d). However, it is important to recognise that grieving is a difficult process. Being harsh towards yourself will only intensify negative emotions and not change anything. Feeling upset and vulnerable on painful days is okay, so don't blame yourself for experiencing these emotions.
Treating yourself with kindness also involves taking care of your physical well-being during this period of grief. Ensure you're consuming enough nutritious food and staying hydrated while allowing yourself to get enough restful sleep. If possible, spend some time outside in the sun and engage in physical activity. Seek support from those who care about you, and remember that self-care is essential to your recovery. Having a healthy relationship with yourself is important as you deserve to be looked after, even during the grieving process.
3. Take action
Consider finding a meaningful way to pay tribute to your mother and keep her memory alive. You could volunteer at an organisation that held significance to her, make a charitable donation in her honour, or coordinate a community event that aligns with a cause that was important to her (Porrey, 2021). Actions to honour your mother do not have to be grand, and can even take the form of engaging in an activity that she would have enjoyed.
4. Show appreciation to other role models in your life
Mother's Day is traditionally a time to express gratitude towards those who have made sacrifices and significantly impacted our lives. Even if your mother is no longer present, this occasion can serve as an opportunity to thank other individuals who have played a maternal role in your life.
Within families, it is common for a father or an older sibling to take on responsibilities typically associated with motherhood after a mother’s passing. You may not have previously considered expressing your appreciation for their efforts, but Mother’s Day can serve as a compelling reason to do so.
Mother's Day can be difficult for children who have lost their mothers and mothers who have lost their children. Coping with grief is challenging, but it is important to acknowledge and accept the pain you are feeling. Planning ahead, being kind to yourself, taking action, and showing appreciation to other role models can help make the day more manageable.
If you find yourself struggling with grief on Mother's Day or any other day, consider seeking support from professional services such as individual counselling for adults in Singapore that can equip you with coping strategies and techniques to manage your emotions healthily.
For children struggling with grief on Mother's Day, it may be helpful to seek the support of a child psychologist in Singapore. Child psychologists are trained to work with children and young people to help them understand and manage their emotions. They can provide age-appropriate counselling, techniques to manage emotions and create a safe space to express their feelings.
Remember, grief is a natural process and healing takes time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.
Rehman, A. (n.d). 5 Tips for Coping With Mother’s Day Grief https://www.griefrecoveryhouston.com/coping-with-mothers-day-grief/
Porrey, M. (2021). Coping With Mother’s Day Grief https://www.verywellhealth.com/mothers-day-grief-5209563